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Relationships > Living Together Before Marriage > PROs
 Posted by write2serve
Dec 13, 2006 07:09 PM
Living Together Before Marriage
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Although the decision to live together or not before marriage is no longer dictated by one's religion (some Catholics, for instance, do not believe in co-habiting or having sex before marriage), sharing living quarters is not a decision that can be made overnight. Younger people these days value their freedom and independence, and have learned from the sad experiences of their friends who lived together before marriage only to break up because of irreconcilable differences. It's hard to predict the outcome of such a decision. For others, it was just what they needed. For others, it could turn out to be the most serious mistake they have ever made.
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| PROs |
What's your rating |
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| It can be a good try |
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| If living together is the consequence of getting married, why do not living together before marriage. Since marriage is a kind of commitments, it is better to think over before you making it. There could be a lot of problems about living together, such as personal habits, money and allocation of time. Some of these problems may become a real problem after a couple living together. A marriage is never a simple thing. Any couple must realize that they are ready to solve these problems together before they make the commitment. A healthy family must have a father and a mother living in a same house. Besides, living together does not necessarily mean that you must have sex. Or you can have save sex. If a man left a woman when she is pregnant, this does not have a lot to do with this issue, because he will still do something bad even though they get married. It is his nature. |
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| It proves the marriage IS just a piece of paper. |
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| Society has matured a bit and finally realizes that modern marriage is a joke. People divorce like its returning a damaged good to Wal-Part. Sure, there is a "re-stocking" fee, but often, the divorcees will agree it is well-worth the cost. Living together before marriage allows you to BE "married" without actually signing legal documents. Be a couple, later a family, BE "husband and wife", live together - without having the government and IRS and court room involved in your lovelife. |
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| Opportunity to get to the know the real person |
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| When the relationship is fairly new, we tend to put our best foot forward. The dating game enables us to show the other our strengths and the things that make us attractive to the other party. Living together answers the question, “is she for real?”, or “is he this charming all the time?” Time heals all wounds, the wise men say, but in a live-in relationship, time will definitely tell. If this is the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with, then living together was well worth it. |
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| Adjustment time is reduced |
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| People who have not lived together before marriage are of course anxious about what happens after the honeymoon. There’s a certain degree of shyness – indeed nervousness – about sharing the same roof for the first time. The dating was fun – getting to know the other person through candle light dinners and walks in the park – leave us tingling with excitement. But when two people decide to live together, they get to discover each other’s annoying habits, warts and all. This way, they know what to expect of the other during married life and the adjustment won’t be as – well – painful! |
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| Serves as the perfect rehearsal for married life – compatibility test |
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| Some couples will say that living together is the best rehearsal for marriage because it serves as a genuine compatibility test. Compatibility must cover all levels of the relationship, and not just one area. Do they share the same views about religion, politics, sex and money? These may be subjects that are taboo between strangers but they need to be fleshed out between two people who are in love. How does each spouse/partner handle an emergency or a major setback in life? What about raising children? What are their positions with respect to private and public schooling? |
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| Economic reasons – sharing rent, food and utilities is great way to save |
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| When engaged in intellectual pursuits, two heads are certainly better than one. When two people graduate from university and have educational and car loans to pay off, two salaries are better than one. Living together for many couples constitutes an economic decision, and is definitely easier on the pocket. If they’re in love and deciding whether or not to tie the knot, they might as well share the heating bill. |
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| Significantly helps in the decision to wed or go separate ways |
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| When two people live together, three things could happen: one, they fall more in love with each other because the sharing and support were offered unconditionally; two, they could end up hating each other’s guts because they turned out to be a major nuisance or burden or blocker to their individual success, and three, they may have their share of disappointments with the other but have learned to rise above the petty quarrels and make a go of the relationship by deciding to tie the knot. It is true that love can move mountains, so even confirmed or die-hard bachelors choose to stay together when they realize that they’ve found their true life partner. |
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